Helping children understand the disease

Watching a loved one progress through the stages of Alzheimer's can be frightening, even for adults. Imagine being a child struggling to understand why grandma is acting so strangely or can't remember who you are.
You can help by noting your child's emotional responses to situations that arise and offering comfort and support when needed.
Anticipating your child's questions
When your child asks questions, respond with simple, honest answers. Alzheimer's often prompts questions such as these:
Is grandma crazy? Explain that Alzheimer's is a disease. Just as children get colds and tummy aches, older adults may get an illness that causes them to act differently and to forget things.
Doesn't grandpa love me anymore? If the person with Alzheimer's disease no longer recognizes your child, he or she may feel rejected. Remind your child that the disease makes it hard for your loved one to remember things — but your child is still an important part of the person's life.
Is it my fault? If the person with Alzheimer's accuses your child of some wrongdoing — such as misplacing a purse or keys — your child might feel responsible. Explain to your child that he or she isn't to blame.
Will you get Alzheimer's? Will I? Reassure your child that Alzheimer's disease isn't contagious. Most people don't get Alzheimer's.
What will happen next? If you'll be caring for the person with Alzheimer's in your home, prepare your child for the changes in routine. Reassure your child that he or she is loved — no matter what the future holds.
To boost your child's understanding of Alzheimer's, it may help to read age-appropriate books on the disease.
If your child has trouble talking about the situation or withdraws from your loved one, open the conversation yourself. Ask what changes your child has noticed in your family member with Alzheimer's disease. Your child's observations may lead naturally to an exploration of his or her own feelings and worries. Tell your child it's OK to feel nervous, sad or angry.
Staying involved
Most kids are amazingly resilient. Help your child stay connected to the person with Alzheimer's. Involve them in familiar activities, such as setting the table together. Shared leisure time is important, too. Even young children can stay connected with a relative who has Alzheimer's by paging through photo albums or listening to music together.
If your child becomes impatient with your loved one, reiterate that the behavior isn't intentional — it's a result of the disease. Find ways to show your family member how much you love him or her.